In Defense of Goofy VBS Songs

I came home from Vacation Bible School and told my family that I wanted to become a Lutheran missionary.  This was met with some surprise considering my family was Methodist.  They may have wondered if sending me to Grace Lutheran’s VBS was a good idea.  After all, those Lutherans were beer-swilling Germans who danced the polka and Flying Dutchman like hussies and even played a card game called “Schaffskopf” (trans:  Sheepshead). Thus, the seeds were sown on my journey to Lutheranism, albeit without becoming a missionary.  Although, at times, a tour of duty in Papua New Guinea has seemed appealing.

Vacation Bible School has been special for me ever since. The rest of the year a kid wasn’t allowed to run in church because it is God’s house.  A kid could run during VBS.  The rest of the year we sang dorky songs.  During VBS we sang cool songs with a lot of jumping and bumping.  The rest of the year we had to be dressed up for Sunday school and church.  A kid could wear shorts and sneakers at VBS.

At Grace Lutheran, Oconto Falls, the 100 or so kids would gather in the sanctuary and Pastor Diemer would lead the opening exercises.  I remember how we would face the American flag and say the Pledge of Allegiance.  Then, we would turn and face the Christian flag and recite the Apostles’ Creed.  Golly, now I have 3^rd year confirmation students who cannot recite the Creed.  We would be dismissed to our classes to the strains of “Onward, Christian Soldiers.”  There would be the day’s lesson, crafts, and then, go outside to play games.

Friday, the final day of class, was the picnic which was the highpoint.  Once again, more voices joined together calling me to Lutheranism, “come, have some more to eat!”  It was a bountiful fare—no silly tray of crudités, no righteous high-fiber, whole wheat hot dog buns, no obligatory serving of fruit.  We had hot dogs from the locker plant; beans with extra bacon fried that morning; cold potato salad and hot German potato salad that all the other kids killed for. I was still an interloper—I didn’t know about such things. A special table for dessert groaned from the weight of chocolate brownies, chocolate chip cookies, and chocolate peanut butter cookies (sense a theme here?).  This was real food of chocolate, sugar and saturated fats prepared by equally bountiful Hausfrauen with names like Erna and Irma, and Hilda.  If Grace Lutheran had not converted my soul during the week of VBS, they sure as hell converted my belly.

Fast forward to the advanced stages of the journey and I am a Lutheran pastor, though still not a missionary.  I can’t help but have fun with Vacation Bible School.  I get to be a kid again.  I love to sing the goofy songs that drive home the point and drive parents bonkers on the ride home.  I love doing melodramatic skits about Apostle Paul’s shipwreck.  I love making tempera paint foot prints on newsprint as we follow Jesus and then the kids laugh at Pastor Ken’s weird foot prints.  I love helping kids remember their baptism by dousing them with water balloons and water guns.  Unfortunately, the kitchen crews now serve ½ cup of broccoli lightly salted, ½ cup of fruit cocktail in light syrup, baked potato chips and ½ pint of skim milk.

Erna, Irma, and Hilda now are part of that great cloud of witnesses.  If only they could still be with us to show us how a VBS picnic should be done.  I’m good to go with the goofy songs.