According to personality
indicators I am an introvert. The results of my Myers-Briggs Temperament
Inventory was no surprise. I would
rather have an intimate conversation with a small group than to be a social
butterfly flitting from one shallow conversation to the next. To the surprise of some, the majority of
pastors are introverts. Conflicts occur because lay people think their pastor
should be super out-going and gregarious and when the cleric appears reticent,
lay people label their pastor as aloof.
That being said, let me declare to all humanity: introvert or extrovert, have a line of
baloney! There is nothing more dull than a person who cannot make at least a
little small talk. As trite as it may be, even commenting on the weather with a
stranger will break down the walls of humanity.
My mother was the queen of banter.
For years Ruth Lorraine did store promotions in the local grocery
stores. On any given weekend she would
be hustling wieners on a toothpick, or a dinky scoop of ice cream atop a dinky
little cone, or a postage-stamp sized piece of pizza. She was a natural
saleswoman. We always said that she could sell prophylactics to the pope. Her key? Mom had the gift of gab. She had a line of blarney (cf. “Heinz 57 and
Proud Of It”). Ruth could chat people up without being overbearing. She spoke
to everyone, little children, colorful pensioners, snooty mill wives resentful
of their husbands’ transfer to small town Wisconsin.
I have become more and more aware of that need to have a line of
blarney: to be able to compliment a woman’s piece of jewelry; to encourage a
person with the progress of their recovery; to pleasantly tease a bashful
adolescent. Certainly, parish ministry
has pushed me out of my comfort zone to engage people in conversation. After writing verbatims with patients during
clinical parish education it made me especially aware of that need for small
talk which would lead into to a deeper level of communication. But, banter became an art form during my
sentence working at Home Depot. Standing
at the register, an appropriate amount of banter would neutralize a defensive
customer who could not find what he was looking for. Some clever comment on the weather would fill
that awkward moment while the customer was unloading her shopping cart. Some
sort of chatter with a manager or department head might result in greater
cooperation when they were actually needed.
Hear ye, hear ye, to all who work in the service sector of our economy:
please develop a line of BS for your work.
Life can become so impersonal. We
can easily throw up walls around ourselves.
Isolation is one of the greatest threats to society. When someone can make a tiny effort to break
down the walls with brief, casual conversation a victory has occurred. It’s not just a ploy to make a sale or to
solicit a generous tip. It is an
acknowledgement of human to human contact.
Humanity will not be defeated by the walls the world tries to build.
If you are an introvert, suck it up, Buttercup. Make the effort to
engage in appropriate human contact. To
another group of people I say, “Pull out that stick. You are no better than anybody else.” If you are an extrovert, blessings upon
you. Just use that personality to bring
a smile to somebody’s face or to make somebody feel better about themselves
rather than inflate your own ego.
Trust the Geezer—there’s nothing wrong with having a little line of BS
in life. It’s a vital sign of the health of humanity.
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