Maybe It's Not Quite Nordstroms

Taking out the two Shockapoos in the morning gets to be an ordeal.  No amount of coaxing and prodding and treats will hurry along the reason for being outside. They take their good-natured time.  But I take advantage of that time waiting for each of them to complete their business and I imagine what it might be like if they were human.  SoNya and MeeAh are getting older, 13 and 11 respectively, and I liken the morning experience to taking aging aunties on a little adventure.

SoNya and MeeAh are aunties who may be from the countryside but they are both very proper and appreciate the finer things.  Their nephew and his wife dote on the two ladies who now live together.  Nephew and wife have offered to take the aunties on a day trip to the city to do shopping at the magical and wondrous department store. At noon they would have a fancy lunch in the Terrace Room with a panorama of the city. 

Auntie SoNya and Auntie MeeAh spent their first hour and a half perusing the various departments of the story.  They admired the pretty dishes in housewares.  They sat on the sofas in the furniture department. They spritzed numerous samples of cologne on each other at the fragrance counter. Then, they were most delighted to see the latest styles and colors in women’s wear.  SoNya and MeeAh may live at the end of a long road, a bit far from town, but, it does not stop their desire for fashion and class.  Nephew and his wife stood back smiling at the chatter going on between the sisters.  Oh, there were a few snarls between the two but, they are sisters after all.  The snarls are short-lived and turn into chuckles.

After the window shopping portion of the city expedition, Nephew and his wife suggest they think about lunch.  Before lunch, why not make a visit to the restroom? The aunties agreed it would be a wise choice.  Nephew’s wife accompanied the sisters to a restroom they called “opulent.”  There in the restroom we see the real parallel to their canine complements.

SoNya and MeeAh entered the lounge and breathed in a pleasant scent.  They both sniffed the air and wondered what type of potpourri they had in the bowls.  They sought out the source of the grassy aroma, took a deeper whiff and smiled with pleasure.  SoNya said to her sister, “MeeAh, look at the color on these two walls. What would that look like in our bathroom?”

“It’s too garish.  But I do like the artwork on the wall.  I love the look of trees in a bathroom,” replied MeeAh.  “It’s just so natural.”

Nephew’s wife could hardly keep from laughing at the two.  “MeeAh? What do you think of those window treatments?”

“They are just stunning. The pattern is just marvelous.”

“MeeAh, look over there.  There’s even a computer monitor.  Just a second.  I want to check my p-mail.”  With that SoNya became engrossed with an abundance of messages.  MeeAh busied herself primping in the mirror and checking her nails.

Age has had a way of affecting the two sisters.  They are observant and very verbal but memory has a way of fading.  To Nephew’s wife SoNya asked, “now what are we doing in this department?”

Without judgment and sounding like the department store hostess she said, “This is the ladies’ room, Aunties.  Maybe you would like to go into the stall and try to piddle.”

“Oh, that would be delightful.  Then, after lunch I saw some pantsuits-or whatever they call them now.  I would like to try them on.”

So, I return from my musings and try to shepherd our two doggies to their special corner of the yard.  Instead of carrying a stylish shopping bag with a chic logo, I walk behind SoNya, the dowager queen, and MeeAh, the pretender to the throne, with a black plastic bag that says, dogpoopbags.com.